October 3rd, 2008
There are many ways to cut college costs including purchasing text books from alternate text book sellers than the college book stores.
Half.com is a good resource for college text books and books of every kind, even audio books and video games. So take a look. You may even get a head start on Christmas gifts…
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September 30th, 2008
College Relationships stay with your student for their entire lives. Becoming involved in the school community requires your student to make good decisions about friends and mates. Your student should be encouraged to practice tolerance and to expand their circle of friends. They have the responsibility to give back to the school community and make it a better place for having been there.
“Relationships in College: 27 Winning Strategies for Success” (CollegeWorks101) is a quick read that covers, easy strategies for college students. This book is about both friendship and love. To have a good friend and a true love, the student needs to experience being a good friend. All this takes time and energy. The following are very important teaching points for parents.
The first five strategies you can should encourage for your college student:
1. Have Realistic Expectations. Do not try to change people. You are responsible for yourself. If someone wants to change, it starts with them.
2. Don’t Get Hung Up On The Small Stuff. Decide what is important in a relationship.
Important: Culture, Values, Family History, Goals, Interests, Hygiene, Manners, Respect
Not So Important: A Car, Cellphone, Fashion, Religion, Fraternity/Sorority, Politics, Popularity, Wealth
3. Be Honest In Your Communications: Communicate Clearly. College is a good time to practice saying what you mean and meaning what you say. The same is true for parents. Clear honest communication is key. Be thoughtful about your words. You always have the option of saying nothing.
4. Be Comfortable With Who You Are. Do Not Try To Be Someone You Are Not. This is a great opportunity for your student to establish themselves as an individual. I have seen students that struggled with being popular in high school, who bloom in college. Remind them, if they have to pretend to be someone different, to be accepted in a group - maybe this is not their group.
5. This is the time to Explore Interests. Encourage your student to try new things: clubs, recreational sports, fraternities or sororities, or volunteer opportunities. By becoming involved, they will meet a wider variety of people and they will expand their circle of friends.
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September 26th, 2008
Even though the extreme sport of heliparenting has a certain attraction,
by the time your young adult is a college student, your job has shifted from
being the supervisor to the spectator.
I have put together five responses you need to practice and use when your student calls with a room mate issue, their class schedule is not to their liking or they want to live in a different dorm… During the college experience, your student is learning so much more than academics. Allow them to learn these life lessons and then they feel the confidence that they can handle things.
1. Jeez. That is a bummer, so what are you going to do about that?
2. Why is that important to you?
3. So, what are your options?
4. You are doing a good job, figuring this all out… I’m proud of you.
5. Let me know how it goes. I am interested in knowing how you handle this.
The 6th response? Just be quiet and listen. Sometimes, they just need complain.
Now, share with other parents some responses that you have found to work for you in the comment section below.
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September 23rd, 2008
This is a cute video made by students for students… So heads up to all parents. Now is the time you need to be teaching your student fiscal responsibility. Teach this early on in the college experience, it will save you pain and worry in the future.
How-To-Get-Money-Out-Of-Your-Parents
So, what do you do?
1. Pay for the housing, text books and lab fees separate from allowance.
2. Make sure your student has a meal card to meet the basic hunger needs.
3. Peanut Butter and crackers did not harm our generation and will not harm this one.
So, how do you handle this kind of request?
“I planned to buy you the new Apple i-phone for Christmas, but if you’d rather me give you extra allowance, I can do that instead? I want you to know that I am serious.”
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September 19th, 2008
We have heard the horror stories of parents that are over vigilant. These are parents that are driving the Black Hawk Helicopters. They are invasive, micro managers that have the attitude of entitlement because they are paying the tuition.
Colleges steer clear of this kind of parent which can hurt the student. The student benefits from a support system. Many students are coming from unstable homes. There is also a record number of students with mental health issues. Often students are feeling overwhelmed with needs that surpass what the college can provide.
I urge you to be involved but not overly involved. As a parent, maintain your connection so you will be aware of their progress and struggles. You will be there to offer them guidance and to suggest resources as needed. You become your child’s mentor.
Parents may need to intervene in a true crisis but know when to step aside and allow your student to work through their issues. This is part of the college experience and there is a safety net of sorts still in place. Now is when the learning needs to happen.
Parenting is a true art. And like all art, it is appreciated over time…
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September 18th, 2008
Charity Water
I was impressed when I read this story…
…it all started last year when charity: water founder Scott Harrison was turning 32. He asked everyone he knew for $32 donations to build a well in Kenya, Africa in lieu of birthday gifts. He then asked everyone born in September to join him. In a remarkable seven weeks, $159,000 was raised and 100% of the money went to build water systems at 3 hospitals and 1 school.
I encourage charitable efforts and volunteer experiences for our high school and college students. These kinds of experiences are life altering. I have had so many students return after an experience with such enthusiasm and appreciation for their life. These experiences stick with the student much longer than the traditional Spring Break stories.
If you have a student that does not want to take family vacations any more, you might suggest a volunteer vacation. You may see a different reaction and another benefit is, the vacation or spring break may actually be tax deductible!
I have been researching charities for CollegeWorks101. Habitat for Humanity and Special Olympics are very dear to me. Charity:Water has struck a special chord though. 100% of the money goes to the water efforts and a young entrepreneur came up with this creative concept.
So today, September 18th, I am launching my commitment to donate a percentage of everything I sell and a percentage of every service I provide to Charity: Water. This will be on ongoing memory of a special child born in September.
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September 16th, 2008
There has been this anticipation of change and loss as the build up occurs over the summer. This disruption of daily life as you knew it, is happening. Do not be surprised at the emotional volatility. This is a big developmental hurdle. It will be hard to say good bye… This change has been waiting to happen for almost 2 decades.
Rest assured that there is still a lot of parenting left to do. I often equate it to a football game. You are only at the 50 yard line. This time in your students life is when the ball gets taken down the field and across the finish line. The “Parenting Years” have been extended. Studies show that it can take 5 to 10 years for a young adult to make a complete shift to being fully independent. These emerging adults still need support and guidance from their parents.
So, picture yourself as the coach and mentor but allow your student to carry the ball. It is their game. Sometimes you may be the coach or the cheer leader but you will always the newscaster announcing their accomplishments. Enjoy this time. It can be as much fun for you as it is your student.
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September 12th, 2008
My clients have heard me warn them that their students are the focus of credit card companies that are after this lucrative age group. Your student is being inundated with credit card offers and banking opportunities. The U.S. Federation of State Public Interests Groups have issued a warning to college students that they are among the most prominent targets for marketing.
Facecard is a prepaid reloadable MasterCard that can be used wherever Mastercard is accepted.
College Students are learning about finances and credit cards represent “quick money” with no reality of the debt that is building and the pain of paying it off.
“Free Stuff Now, Huge Debt Later” is the motto of the marketing teams that are on the campus educating the students. They are handing out lollipops that say, “Don’t Be A Sucker”! We need to educate our students so they do not fall prey to the lure of these credit card companies.
For more information for your student, go to: TruthaboutCredit
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September 9th, 2008
| National Average College Costs |
| $13,126 |
The national average cost of a 2 year public college, commuting students not living at home |
| $17,336 |
The national average cost of a 4 year public college with in-state tuition |
| $35,374 |
The national average cost of a 4 year private college |
| Source: College Board. Trends in College Pricing 2007 |
Many parents question whether the cost of a college education is worth it. The consensus is, that it is… The student still needs to be involved in the financial discussions so they are aware of their responsibilities. This is the largest investment you will make next to the family home. So, this is a family affair.
The student’s responsibility is to study, participate in student activities (Always be building that resume), take a full course load and graduate on time. As a parent, you want to encourage them to enjoy this time in their life but to be responsible.
College is so much more than academics and there are many lessons to be learned along this college path. As parents, allow these lessons to be learned while there is a semblance of a safety net still under them.
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September 5th, 2008
Tell your students about this web site that I found: www.notesake.com
If the student starts off the semester organizing their notes, then when mid terms and finals roll around, they are organized for study and don’t waste time, gathering their notes. The notes can be shared so students can collaborate. It is a tool of common sense that may work for your student.
Good habits need to start immediately. Then the habits can be maintained through out the college experience and the rest of their lives.
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