You have heard me post more than once that college is more than academics. This is the University of Life.
Although you hear the moans and groans about all the assignments and projects that are due… Take a stroll across the campus on a school day. It may feel like a stroll through utopia. There will be a Starbucks close by and a convenience store, maybe even a Kinkos and post office. Food choices abound. There is no stress of finding a parking space, or rush because you are doing errands on a work break…
Then you pull a credit card out of your pocket and you pay for whatever you need and you are not responsible for the bill!
Kids attend class 15- 20 hours a week and that is if they are taking a full load. Many kids are in no rush to leave this safe womb so they take 9 or 12 credit hours… They are on the 5 to 6 year college plan.
There are 168 hours in a week, and the student is in class for 20 hours (and I am going high on this estimate). They sleep 56 hours (again, I am going high - that is 8 hours a night). Okay that leaves 92 hours for eating, studying, hanging out.
This is too much free time.
Yes, there are students that are INVOLVED. They play a sport. They are involved with on campus activities. They have part time jobs. Is that how you would describe your student?
Walk that campus… See for yourself.
CollegeWorks101.com began with the accidental death of my college student, Jacob Levi Crossley a sophmore at Florida Atlantic University in Boca Raton Florida. That is when I discovered that I still had parenting to do. All the experience I gained both as a parent and a professional I could pass on to others.
I have been blogging for three years. Parents from all over the world have shared their parenting issues. Parenting a college student in today’s environment is a slippery slope but we have parents that are doing an amazing job. Other parents are in a quandary. Is it too late to parent their college student?
It is never too late to parent your child. Is it easier to parent them when they were younger and impressionable? Yes. But, you can still make a difference in your college students life.
ADD and ADHD qualifies your student for services provided by the Disability Act. Qualified testing is required to prevent all students from claiming to be ADD. See the Disability Office at the school your child will be attending for information on how to apply for services.
Students with ADD/ADHD can actually hit their stride in a college atmosphere. They are not sitting in classes all day, every day. They move around more in between classes. They can space their classes with breaks through out the day.
The student can drop classes taught by professors with a teaching style that does not work for them. Then they can take the same course taught by a different professor. Or they can take the course at a community college or a university in their home town during the summer months. There are more options.
There is a guide available at book stores and on Amazon: Petersons Colleges for Students with Learning Disabilities. If your student has ADD/ADHD use this book as your bible. If there is no program that supports students with learning disabilities, do not apply there.
You have too many choices for schools with supportive services. Set your student up for Success. College is a financial investment and a personal investment.
As an adult we feel the stress of the economy and day to day living. For the college student, looking forward may be scary. Is this what they have to look forward to?
It is important for the student to be realistic but they also need to feel hopeful. As they are struggling through exams and assignments, there needs to be a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.
Even with the double digit unemployment, there are still jobs opening up every day. Our young people have skills the older generation does not have that are needed in the market place. They also enter the job market at a lower salary making them marketable.
What this generation is not good at, is serving their time in a work environment. They want to start out on top, they want that corner office with all the benefits that go with it, right out of college. This probably is not going to happen. Exposure to the workplace before college graduation will teach the student the importance of working well with others. Personality and social skills will weigh in along with the degree.
As parents, offer hope to your student and have appropriate expectations for their first job out of college. The star will rise quickly as opportunities present themselves. We want the stuent to keep reaching for the Stars, but not expect them to be gift wrapped and given to them upon graduation.
In my private practice I urge parents to embrace their parenting role, every day…
We role model, we teach, we share… WE PARENT! Seize this time to give your student memories that will stay with them their entire life.
One of my favorite memory is the time we spent playing pick up basket ball. We went through 3 basketball hoops during Levi’s childhood. If he had a bad day at school, I sent him out to the hoop to work off his anger and frustration. If he was worried about something, I would hear that ball bouncing on the driveway as he shot hoops. He would practice his spelling bouncing the basketball. He engaged other adults to play with him. I remember him playing basketball with his godfather who is a short Peruvian man. He occasionally would appeal to me, to come shoot hoops with him (another way of saying he needed to talk.) That basketball hoop is symbolic in our family.
Share with other parents activities that have become precious memories to you.
Don’t forget to get your student connected with the Disability office at their College/University if they have been diagnosed ADD or ADHD. If there is a suspicion that your student is ADHD, have your student evaluated now. Find out what it takes for your student to qualify for benefits of the Disability Program. It may involve a psychological assessment.
The Disability Program is a wonderful resource for College Students with ADHD/ADD.
speak to the parents. You can order it from Amazon. I have three other quick easy reads for the college student: College Students: 29 Winning Strategies for Success; Relationships in College: 26 Winning Strategies for Success, and Leadership: 25 Winning Strategies for Success.
My books can be read in one sitting. The idea is to get the information in quick, fun way so you remember it. then you can always refer back…
Sending your high school graduate to college may need some reconsideration. Does your student want to go to college as much as you want them to go to college? Is your student going to college with an end result of independence and self determination?
Many of today’s youth are going to college for the partying and the freedom of living away from their parents. This is a bi-product of going to college but it should not be the primary reason for going to college.
How do you know as a parent if this is the right thing for your child? Are they completing their college applications on their own? Do you have to constantly nag them and worry about them making the deadline for the application? How responsible are they? Do they respect rules? Curfews? Do they have a problem with drinking or drugging? Do they manage their money well?
Answer these questions and feel comfortable that your child is ready for college. College is a very large financial investment. Make sure you are making a good financial decision and a good parental decision. There are other options for your child if they are not ready for this commitment.
This is a new term to me! Sexting which has become common with our young folks can become something that will haunt your student for a long time.
Share this with your student. Have a conversation and expose your student to the realities of their actions. Kids are so busy being kids and doing stuff outside the box… They don’t realize that their actions can follow them for a long time. Yes, kids will be kids but with technology, it becomes part of a permanent record.
For the parents out there, that have a talented student in a sport, read the above blog entry. Parents are looking at every option to find a way to pay the hefty college tab. This is a good option but one with a lot of competition. Someone is going to get the placement, it may as well be your student.
I urge students to find a sport or an art. Then get involved. A student needs to be unique in some way to stand out from the crowd. The sport can be Ultimate Frisbee or Dragon Boat Racing. It does not have to be Baseball, Basketball or Football. It looks better if the student has been involved for more than a semester. We are looking for an indication of commitment.
The same goes for the Arts. Do not overlook stressing a talent on a college application, especially one that is a out of the ordinary. Your student may play the accordion, the Chinese Erhu (2 string fiddle) or the bongos. If they have recognition with this talent, then stress it on the application.
We have many sports players that are playing the traditional American Sports. The competition is tough, but if this is your students dream, then gather information on how to best help them be seen by recruiters.
