By Dr Devi Yohn

(Last of 2 parts)

This is a physical response. But emotions are mixed in as well. When Megan W., age 15, feels stressed she says, “I get a really big attitude or I get really sad. I often cry or yell.” 3 The challenge of the teen years adds to the stress.

Stress and Adolescence
“Adolescence is the extraordinary period of dynamic change when a person moves from childhood to adulthood,” according to a 2007 report from the Office of the U.S. Surgeon General. “During this transition, adolescents must cope with dramatic changes in their bodies, feelings, perspectives, and environments.” The report discusses the stresses teens face due to being teens.

Teens are pulled in several directions at once. They are caught between friends and family even as they move toward self-reliance, the report explains. “They will experience unfamiliar situations, pressures, desires, and challenges for which they have no prior frame of reference and often are not fully prepared to deal with effectively on their own.” Doctors and psychologists have studied stress in children and teens. All children must deal with the challenges of growing, explains Aaron T. Ebata, Ph.D, human development specialist. Going through puberty is hard. Changes take place. They must cope with new feelings. Add to this the wishes of parents, teachers, friends. Balancing it all is demanding.“And some kids may have to deal with things that their peers don’t have to face, such as the death of a family member or moving to a new town.

Most children meet these challenges successfully and grow into healthy adults. Other have a harder time coping with their problems.” In addition to the challenges of growing, changes add to stress. A new school, divorce, or the loss of a pet or loved one all cause stress. This type of stress or centers around not knowing what to expect. A new routine or grief over loss create doubt. Doubt builds tension. Tension triggers stress.

By Dr Devi Yohn

(First of 2 parts)

Just the word “STRESS” makes the stomach tighten and the muscles tense. these are common reactions to stress which is our body reacting to something threatening. Triggers for stress are all around us: People, Places, Events and Situations.

We cannot avoid stress. It is in every part of our life. Parents cause stress to teens, young adults and mature adults. Sibling rivalry cases tension.

A study of Baltimore, Maryland teens stated, “family conflicts usually involved doing their homework, cleaning their room, and doing chores.” School conflicts involve homework, tests and teachers. Coaches, tutors, and bosses add to pressures teens face. Many times, it is a combination. Our teens and young adults who are successful at school, have part time jobs, an active social life and a goal for college success experience

STRESS.
Often stress happens when we already feeling overloaded. We do not feel in control of everything we have to do. This is why we think of stress as bad. But even good things happening in life can cause stress. A new job, getting a scholarship, or winning a tournament adds pressure to succeed. Getting accepted to a new school or college means adjusting to change. Even new relationships can cause stress.

Stress is the body’s reaction to danger. When you step off the curb and see a car speeding straight for you, you feel fear. Your heart races, the fear triggers adrenaline, and your brain sends signals to jump out of the way. The car passes. You are back on the curb, safe. But your heart will still beat fast until the brain and body are sure the danger has passed.

SeekingArrangement.com is the web site. 40% of the sugar babies are college students. The students list in the wanted section: travel, friendship and help with tuition. Just and FYI, parents.

Getting connected to the college environment can be daunting but these apps make finding things, ordering things and nesting much easier. Just the GPS alone saves time and frustration. Many major cities have their street maps available on map applications. Spend time exploring your new or soon to be new geographic area via applications.

Get use to using your phone calendar so you can keep yourself organized and meet all your deadlines. Being responsible and dependable are now you, the college students’, responsibility.

Often the decision where to attend college is based on where the parents live or have studied themselves. An interesting statistic: 3.4 million students currently study outside their home countries and this figure is rising. The expectation is 7.25 million by the year 2025. I believe it will be higher. University applicants more now than ever have a global outlook.

Universities want to be a global brand so they attract the best students and the best professors and staff. It is also important to remember that more and more corporations are hiring globally.

If a student does not know yet what their passion is, the American system would be the best choice. If you know your passion then the United Kingdom would be a good choice.

Allow your student to pursue their passion, not your passion nor an institution.  The experience and the learning path is what is important.  Success happens in many places, not just in Ivy League and Branded Universities.

My suggestion is to be open to options and of course do your research, or better yet…Expect your student to do the research and to discuss them with you.  Then you come up with a long list, then a short list and start getting those applications in.  For Seniors now is the time!  For Juniors and Sophomores, you have the luxury of time but its not too early.

Many schools with these top reputations come at a hefty price.  Intense academia is not for everyone and can become a costly mistake if your child does not find success.  It may be best to look beyond a college’s reputation to see the real worth for your student.   A good fit is what is important.

Does the school offer the course work your child is interested in.  Youngsters need to follow their passion.  The subject matter is more important than the name of the institution.  Success can happen in many different environments.

I always remind parents of community colleges.  If your child is not sure of what path they want to take, let them try different courses in a local community college.  Or suggest they take the required courses in a community college while they consider what path they want to take.  Summer courses at a community college can also help to sort out those that are undecided.

The problem is the courses are taught by professors of the “old school”.  Marketing has changed in a big way. Even with my current practice as a mental health therapist, speaker, author and mediator.  I better know how to market or I am flat in the water.

So, if you have a kiddo that is really not interested in formal college but IS interested in the computer, blogging, web sites etc…  check this web site out.

http://www.IMTCVA.org

Here is your “Go To” place for the application and details.  www.fafsa.ed.gov

In our new economy, getting financial aid is important if you are eligible.  But you will not know if you do not go through the application process and meet the deadlines.

For parents that have students that are not cooperating in this application process, consider that they may not be ready for the demands of college.  A student needs to be involved in every aspect of the application for University.  This is where the college experience begins.  If they cannot fill out their application and take responsibility, you may want to reconsider the expense of sending your child to college.

College is a major sacrifice for the family financially.  The college student needs to participate and do their part.

Be careful what you sign.  Review the terms of the loans.  Know the difference between a scholarship, a stipend and a loan.

Cute terms but how far off are they?

There are many colleges to choose from and if the student gets into a “No Name” university but finds the perfect fit for them, this is success. It may not give the parents bragging rights unless you can call, “My Kiddo is happy and doing well” something to brag about.

If your child cannot complete their own college applications or write their own essays, cannot make appointments with their college counselors or set up their own bank account – they may be too fragile to be successful in a college environment.

We think we are doing our kids a favor by removing all obstacles from their path when it is the obstacles that teach the lesson. Our kids need to be able to problem solve, make good decisions and deny themselves to get what they want.